Pain,The Muse Poetry
by Rue Wolf
Summary: Some Poetry I wrote through the years. I don't post all of my poetry,only some of my favorites. R&R If you wish,But just know I will not change the way I write.
1. Back to Me

Look at her on the floor people staring through the door pity in their eyes disappointment on their face and all she wanted was to find a place

A place to belong a place to live a place where she didn't feel like a little kid.

Drank to much she paid the price stomach clenching blood shot eyes.

Cry for this day to be over not knowing the next will be slightly the same just laugh and try to forget the pain.

Days pass by and by with not a thought in my head Everything turning out oh so very grotesque to me.

Love the sight of the blood stains on the floor the spinning twirling mess of my mind calling upon something tyrannical.

So don't cry oh baby of mine "Believe my love is unfeigned by this corruption"I scream and cry

I beg and plead...

Never will this disastrous tragic disease subside please don't victimize me ,my only

Please tell me our love isn't broken and bruised and how I'm supposed separate from you?

I Don't feel like myself I think i might die..  
If this Pain doesn't subside I fight the urge to cry though i don't know why

Everything seems perfect,but i think I'm losing me..  
In this battle to save who i used to be.

When i start to think how it should be My thoughts always get the best of me.

Listen to the words i don't put in your mouth But you swear i do.

Hidden in a drawer wrapped up tight lays that little razor blade waiting for the day i lose control again.

Crawling to that dark place...  
But maybe its not too late.

I'm not crying out for help I'm just tired of the way things always turn out.

I figure the silence is temporary so i try not to disturb it,I'm afraid to move

Writing my feeling on my arm with a razor Part of me wants to..the other screams for me to stop.  
Stuck...a prisoner to this clock.

Everything i touch just seems to fall and pulls me back to that part of me that never seems to leave Sick and demented Yeah that's me.

Its a process,yes,  
But even if i don't want it to Its all just...Coming back to me. 


	2. Trick

Inside my head things crumple and break Everything does come out the wrong way I'm not as pretty as I could be Things turn into bad habits,but i can handle it...

Inside my head your better then you really are sometimes I forget and fall Constant Arguing is my defense against being wrong I'm usually always wrong...

Inside my head everything is white and gray I see what I want not whats there So I stop and stare I always feel I don't belong,but i can handle it...

Inside my head I have so much to say But so little is said Alot is going on at once I cant tell it to hush...

Inside my head things push and pull I get caught in the middle I cant decide because everything has its price and their always high,but i can handle it...

Inside my head I know who i am it doesn't shine through so really there's no proof I feel as if all these screws are coming loose

Inside my head everything is planned out its like a game,a ruse a board made for two I always seem to lose,but I can handle it...

Inside my head everything seems dead there's just no point to it and i still write with no particular inspiration and everything seems fine outside my head...  
but Outside my head I'm better then I really am...  
but I can handle it...

Read more: .com/sixy33/blog#ixzz0z8OvgOTL


	3. Ghost

**_You act as if its not wrong,_**

**_the way you left._**

**_I saw blue for days and got no rest._**

**_I cried and cried begged and pleaded,_**

**_and all you could say was this is not what you needed._**

**_I asked why and you gave me silence._**

**_I tore my walls down only to be misguided._**

**_No,there is no love._**

**_What once was is now astray._**

**_I tried and I tried to forgive what you did._**

**_I'm quite aware I am not a little kid,_**

**_but I needed you here,we all did…_**

**_Piece of my heart has been misplaced,_**

**_you took it with you and threw it away._**

**_Of all the things you could have done and all the things you could have said,_**

**_now you're a mere ghost and I…. _**

**_I do not exist._**


	4. Voice

In less then a minute,it gets buried under cement and rock  
then it becomes so hard to talk.

Speaking doesn't come so easily,when in life that's what you were taught.

Hold your tongue,Don't say a word,don't speak your thoughts.

Its a slap to the face,realizing your voice doesn't have a place.

As if one little syllable can cause such high stakes,the first to talk loses the race.

Soon every single problem will go to a hidden place,along with the anger and hate.

Enshrouded so well by these sticks and stones that have broken so many of your bones.

You grow to accept that nobody will ever truly know you  
because of the things you cannot say,but there will always be the sadness and loathing,and always there will be the self-hate.

At times its so hard to say one word,I begin to cry for just one thought to escape,once the words form on my lips,I close them tight,it just seems too late.

Hiding behind walls built so high,I hope that one day they will crumple and fall and give me no shelter to hide.

I will crush these stones under which my voice hides  
In hope that Maybe one day I will be able to speak my mind.


	5. Sick Dream

_In my dreams it seems so real._

_Things shake and tumble and break._

_You were holding my hand,and I felt so safe._

_But your grip grew tighter,Your voice angry._

_Yelling at me things I do not understand._

_"__**Its all your fault!**__" You scream over and over._

_and all I can think is '__**what did I do that hurt you so bad?**__'_

_My eyes well up with tears from the pain in my hand._

_I close my eyes and try to make things go silent._

_A dream within a dream,but more like a nightmare,it only gets worse._

_I fall into a place surrounded by black._

_This place is filled with things that are not coming back._

_I see their ghosts,howling in agony,while others simply do not matter._

_They say the words that still echo in my mind, the words you etched in my head,that you said over and over again so many times._

_"__**Its all your fault..**__." they say. Your voice echoing threw their mouths._

_No matter what I do ,I can not block it out._

_I put my head down whispering a half chant half prayer._

_"__**You said you'd always be here..where are you now?..**__"_

_I'm lost and scared and I don't know where I'm going._

_I feel the pain in my hand,it pulled me back._

_I feel the venom penetrating my skin._

_You walk away and leave me to stand there alone._

_People crowd around me and block my view._

_They do not see me ,just walk right on through._

_I never asked you once to let go,even through all the pain._

_I believed it WAS my fault… Believed it was I who made you this way._

_Never did I question your sanity_,_But now I know it was YOU who gave me the disease_.

_But I was only 7… You were all I knew, and you meant so much to me_.


	6. Identify

I will sit and tell you everything I'm feeling I want no response just a bit of understanding.

When I'm done speaking maybe you can hold me.  
Brush my hair from my face and tell me you hear me.  
I don't belong here and I can't shake this feeling.  
I'm trying to build my way up and I want to see clearly.

But every time I do my vision blurs and it comes tumbling down.  
Then I'm back at square one searching for a way out.

Sometimes I'm so stressed I want to pull my hair from my head.  
I constantly, secretly, chain smoke and I can never get any rest.

Everything I need is out of reach and everything I want is impossible it seems.

My face is always stuck in a frown,bags under my eyes, and on my arms new scars can be found.

Sometimes I struggle to even eat, because when I'm out I feel eyes scrutinizing me.

At times I'm too depressed to get out of bed so I deliberately make myself sick to get out of work instead.

And all of these things I will never say, I trade them in for an "I'm Okay" and hopefully just try to get through another day.


	7. Shooting Star

We lay on the floor waiting to spot a shooting star in the sky that is love.

Without a worry of time because we feel the world is ours.

We disguise our lies and smile bright in the moon light.

Sipping our champaigne with no speech or thoughts of talk.

We're surrounded by silence and the smell of grass mixed with moss.

We will perish the thoughts of morning because we want to keep this night of perfectness so sweet.

We sustain ourselfs with love so there is no need to eat.

Feet tangled, bodies filling with electricity, taste buds sensitive to the slightest touch.

Every worry is lost as the shooting star we were searching for is finally found.

And we feel the love of decades to come.


End file.
